False Allegations In Women's Own Words
False Allegations In Women's Own Words| Chapter 5 — In Women's Own Words |
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Corrupt judge denies justice and places woman's life in danger
A woman's open letter to women who lie
Canadian woman describes the plight of Colorado male friend
Daughter attempts extortion by abusing stepfather
911: Is it help? Or is it a deadly trap?
False domestic violence charges
False allegations of sexual abuse
Based on advocacy research, an ideologically-driven struggle to presumably end “domestic violence,” or what is now referred to as intimate partner violence as most cases now involve dating couples, has been carried out. As a result virtually every imperative of the rule of law has been cast aside. The ancient principle of the prosecutorial requirement to establish both mens rea and actus reus beyond a reasonable doubt before a jury have virtually disappeared in these cases.
If a woman simply claims a crime has been committed strict liability is often invoked. Hearsay has become admissible in many such cases and perjury and subordination of perjury are standard practice and often shielded under color of law.
A male is now considered guilty unless and until they can prove their innocence, and often they are still considered guilty because a woman says they are regardless of what the facts and a jury might state. Conversely, under the radical feminist dogma on which the “justice” system now operates a woman is presumed never to lie, i.e., we must believe the victim, and they are only ever violent in self defense. And, as shown below, the corruption has spread so that now wealthy men can play the same games.
Laws and convictions are based on emotions and feelings and it is sufficient for a woman to allege she is in “fear” or that “emotional harm might result” if a man is not restrained or incarcerated. Beneath the umbrella of this radical feminist ideology it is now quite acceptable under color of law to force a man or woman from their home with no notice or chance to defend themselves before a court, due process having become a quaint, outdated victorian practice.
Warrantless arrests and searches are now an accepted and common practice for law enforcement if there is any suggestion the situation involves a domestic disturbance, however tenuous that evidence might be. And often SWAT teams using forced entry are employed in these cases.
Under these conditions, with no protections for the defendant and no punishment for the accuser, it is of little surprise to find that women, and now men, often take advantage of this breakdown in morals and mores to use the “justice” system for vengeance, revenge, personal gain, to gain advantage in a divorce, to obtain custody of children, and for whatever other evil lurks in their hearts.
Fortunately, the majority of men and women are sane and are as appalled by such injustice as is the Equal Justice Foundation. The reaction of many women to these disgusting practices, and the damage they do to children, families, and marriage is presented below.
August 23, 2013 — I am a mother of three children fighting fiercely for justice after blatant wrongdoing by a corrupt judge and dysfunctional court system. My husband of 23 years is a wealthy businessman who retained a very aggressive attorney to represent him. Before filing for divorce, and without warning he emptied out our joint bank account leaving me penniless. Denying me access to the only source of funds available to me in which to obtain legal representation as I had been a stay at home mom for the past 21 years wile filling in gaps in our family-owned business when needed.
On March 5, 2012 Judge Dorothea Batiste a Jefferson County Circuit Court Judge in Birmingham, Alabama, awarded everything to my husband of 23 years in a default-divorce judgement while court ordering me to pay my now ex-husband $411 a month in child support as well as 50% of all non covered medical bills.
I only learned about the judgment while seeking advice from an attorney who saw the order on Alacourt. I was never served papers notifying me of a court date. Furthermore, the address listed on Alacourt is our marital address where I have not resided since my husband locked me out on June 7, 2011, when he filed for divorce. Having been denied my due process rights the attorney agreed to represent me pro bono. She immediately filed a motion to set aside judgment. At which time Judge Batiste threatened to put me in jail for not having paid close to $3,000 in combined fees for child support and a guardian ad litem fee that I never knew I owed.
Despite the fact I was currently unemployed and living in a shelter I was falsely accused by the judge, as well as my ex-husband's attorney, as having been diagnosed with a personality disorder when I was in high school. I am currently 41-years old and have never been diagnosed with a personality disorder. However, I have seen a psychiatrist over the years for depression. I was never allowed to defend myself or provide the necessary documentation refuting their baseless claims.
I have also been deprived of sole physical and legal custody of my children which has resulted in an ongoing separation of 18 months. I have been deprived of all property, assets, interest in our family-owned business of 24 years, retirement and investment accounts, pensions, health insurance, my automobile, all of my personal belongings in the home including photos of my children over the years, and other sentimental items that are very precious to me.
Last week Judge Dorothea Batiste was suspended for 90 days for violating 29 Canons of Judicial Ethics in Alabama after denying litigants due process rights in six different cases. Afraid of retaliation I did not file a complaint with the Judicial Inquiry Commission against Judge Batiste. I since have decided to go ahead and submit a letter detailing the gross injustice my children and I have been dealt.
Currently I am residing at a domestic violence shelter in Georgia working feverishly to try and remove the barriers that stand between being reunited with my precious children. Due to domestic violence it has been very difficult for me to sustain employment without compromising my safety. I have had to relocate to three different states after my ex-husband located where I worked using my social security number. He is threatening to kill me and make it look like suicide where no one will ever suspect him. He is also threatening to have me arrested for not having paid child support. I live in a constant state of fear, coupled with the despair and heartache of being falsely accused and separated from my children. All the while searching for a way to right the injustice.
Name withheld for her protection
December 9, 2009 — This Christmas, all across America, are untold thousands of children who will be spending the holiday in misery. Why? Because their fathers aren't allowed to see them due to incarceration or parole/probation or therapy that forbids contact. These are men (almost exclusively) that are victims of lies and a court system that is anything but just and fair.
We're not talking about true sex offenders (SO's) or true perpetrators of domestic violence (DV). To be fair, women are actually more apt to be the perps in DV cases, but male-hating feminists have convinced lawmakers and the courts that women and children are incapable of lying in DV and SO prosecutions. The problem is that they DO lie. They DO ruin lives. What's is so scary is that they can do so so very easily. The system is now set up so that if a phone call is made accusing a man of SO or DV, they are history. A defendant will spend every dime on an attorney who “specializes” in these kinds of cases; they are led on until a trial time is nearing, then suddenly the attorney wants more money or, if he refuses to take a plea, more charges will be added. Ninety-six percent of cases never go to trial. Why would someone cop a plea if they're innocent? When you're looking at life in prison on a first offense, your attorney says your judge is biased, you don't want to drag your children through court (if they are involved), a jury doesn't want to look soft on child molesters, you aren't allowed to produce evidence of your innocence, and your funds have dried up, you're gonna cop a plea — guaranteed.
Why would anyone lie like this? How could they blithely lie through their teeth and get away with it? How do they live with themselves? (1) Jealousy, vindictiveness, spite — “hell hath no fury...” right? An acrimonious divorce where the woman wants the kids to have no contact with their father, and any number of other reasons...it's just too easy. (2) There is a large part of a generation lacking any empathy, compassion, love, forgiveness, or heart. They live their lives in hatred and fear and are, unfortunately, passing those traits onto their own children. (3) Very comfortably, apparently. Could you look yourself in the mirror, knowing what you've done? Not only to an innocent person, but his family — EVERYONE who loves him is affected, especially the children who face a lifetime of vigilantism, scorn, ridicule, embarrassment, hopelessness, loss of self-esteem, loss of a beloved parent, and on and on and on.
Estimates range from 2% to over 75% of how many men have been falsely accused and wrongly convicted of domestic violence or a sex offense. The 2% number is what you'll find on a victims' rights or VAWA (Violence Against Women Act) sites. Feminists would have you believe women and children are incapable of lying and they have convinced lawmakers this is so. The figures 50-75% are closer to the truth. There are no numbers and in some states, such as ours, a person convicted (usually by a coerced plea) is forbidden to proclaim innocence to anyone or face more time.
The public seems to have no idea any of this is going on — especially regarding sex offenders. Only 5% of those forced to register can be considered dangerous to children. They think everyone on there is a predator (a name wisely chosen by those who support these laws) and baby raper. This simply isn't true. Most are registered because of laws that have broadened so far as to include victimless crimes and sex between adults (prostitution). Chances are if you have offenders in your neighborhood, they didn't molest any children.
A word to defense attorneys: Shame on you for masquerading as someone a scared, naive young man can trust. You lead them on, take their hard-earned money and that from their desperate families, all the while reassuring them you know what you're doing, then, at the last minute, you coerce them into taking pleas. They learned in school that our court system is supposedly honest and fair and you know damn good and well it's not. How do you think they feel as they watch you laughing and joking with their prosecutor in court? Pleas are win/win for both of you. Quite a scam you all have going. Thousands of dollars for doing absolutely nothing. Do your mothers know what you do? I'll bet not, as it would make them as sick as it makes me.
October 10, 2009 — I seriously would like to make it down to [Colorado] for no other reason than to shock my stunned brain into actually believing that other people are enduring what G_____ is, and nothing can be done to protect their safety, or civil rights either. I am afraid this mess with G_____ has broken my belief system. I can't imagine what it has done to him and others. I can't afford to get down until his next trial in Nov.
I once thought, if he could just find a lawyer who would use his case to show how unfounded accusations (no matter how small) could build up to destroy a person, or a reporter who really wanted to investigate and expose a real nightmare. But there isn't anyone. In 40 years the reality shows or daytime talk shows will be after these guys for their stories but traditional views have not allowed enough changes to expose what is happening.
I am agreeing with G_____. It has gone on so long and is so complicated that he will be running and hiding from her charges for the rest of his life. Sitting down and going through what has happened has shown a man who did stupid, but not hurtful things. A man who was a dork but doing things the only way he knew how in an aim to protect his children.
His finding out last fall, what he knew but has never been able to prove to the legal system, that his ex was getting beat by her common-law husband, opened a whole new Pandora's box. Her partner, common-law husband, whatever not only beat her up, but kicked her out, leaving G_____'s daughter defenceless and alone in the house with the guy.
His ex is a perpetual liar and was an abusive wife and mother. His sons moved home when she failed to protect them against her boyfriend. Now she is not protecting herself or his daughter. Her answer to the police arresting her boyfriend for beating her was to drive the guy to his anger management classes again, and have the judge remove and lessen the charges and restraining orders the court had placed on him. She transfers everything her boyfriend is doing to her and tells the police G_____ does or did it?
Here is G_____ who has never touched her and she is actually being abused by the guy she is living with? The law knows her boyfriends character, yet aids her in her vendetta against G_____ and the efforts to keep him away from his daughter.
The legal system has never allowed him to erase or explain her charges. He has never physically hurt her, but has spent more time in jail as an innocent man waiting for court, and money to lawyers proving his innocence of each charge. Yet she uses every opportunity to call the police on G_____, even if he is just shopping or walking down the street? He was extremely naive in 2002 during the divorce. Actually his candor to the police and attorneys made things worse for him. His sense of right and wrong put him in this mess.
Weird system. Mind you she did say G_____ would never have anything to do with his daughter, nor would she allow him to ever see her. She even said the courts couldn't make her. Guess she is right. She and her boyfriend take the child support and charge him with half the child's expenses, including hiring the child her own lawyer to fight her father's lawyer to have her removed from a dangerous environment.
So last fall, G_____ mortgaged more land, hired another lawyer to start proceedings to remove his daughter from a dangerous household. I feel responsible, because I was given the attorney's name by a contact in up here and then by Glenn Sacks. The man's reputation was one of taking on the impossible cases and defending men. I thought G_____ needed a lawyer who was going to work for justice, rather than for-profit and show his ex for what she had always been. Her cheating, compulsive lying, and type of woman she is needed to be exposed. He couldn't afford to protect the reputation of his children's mother and needed a lawyer who was going to protect his interests. His life is on the line. So far he has had really poor representation, is frightened, in even more of a mess, and thousands more in the hole.
It is a year later and the lawyer is “filing motions.” It started out like the attorney knew what he was doing. The judge, who had been handling the initial years of the settlement, custody, restraining orders, quit when mistakes were found in his decisions and handling of the case.
Then in Feb. 2009 she allowed the same man to beat up her son for taking chocolates and a toy to her and his sister. Her 911 tape says in the five minutes that he arrived and got out of the truck, she had to hit him to make him leave, (bad enough he had to go to the hospital?), and the statements to the police, describing the incident, do not match. Her son's safety and what happened to him were blown off by everyone except G_____. The lawyers told him to let it drop if he did not want his son's future to be wrecked as well!
Not satisfied, they tried to charge the boy with trespassing, though he cell records showed he called his mother twice to say he was on his way, and she admitted she didn't pick up, because she didn't want to talk to him. She could have protected him against getting jumped by her boyfriend by answering his messages and saying to stay away.
Now that the son is an adult and he wanted to see his sister. they immediately tried to start the same pattern of lies and abuse that has destroyed his father. Thank goodness the DA threw the charges out. It could have mucked with his future big time. The police made a lot of errors and the new DA hushed things up quick. If he had been a girl who was beaten up and put in the hospital, I'll bet the police would have done something.
Her next effort was this April [2009] to have him arrested when she saw G_____ shopping in Walmart after dropping me off. Instead of leaving the store she went crying in a panic to the customer service saying G_____ was stalking her. He was talking to his lawyers office about his bill when the police came down the aisle to arrest him. Then he figured she was in the store somewhere. The pattern has been so predictable! He was locked up again all weekend without bail, just for shopping. Now months later and thousands of dollars into lawyers pockets trying to be proven innocent again.
Problem is, the DA is trying to make a case of all her past charges on him. The bogus restraining order violations are never purged, nor were explanations allowed for the ones he was charged with. The judge in the case allowed her to talk and defend herself, but would not allow his lawyer to speak up to defend G_____. You look at the list of charges and her story does look scary. It isn't until you try to defend yourself against false charges, that you find out that the emphasis is on the defendant to prove the charges false. It is so easy for falsehoods to be taken and directed to look like fact. This times things look really bad. I see the fight going out of him.
Things his attorneys told him for years to ignore the threats, bullying, harassment. That doing the “tit for tat” restraining orders was not necessary. Now the very fact that they did not follow up on charges or take things seriously, have all these false charges and bogus restraining order violations and charges being used to paint a picture of him that is not true.
He has paid huge amounts of money to hire attorneys to protect him from this stalking and harassment. He has asked them to revise the restraining orders so he could farm and continue with his businesses. He has asked to have them to have the fake charges purged. He was shrugged off and not listened to. He was told it wasn't worth trying as the judges wouldn't listen in Colorado. Legal advice that has not only harmed him, but come back to be used by this DA who is personally pushing for him to go to jail for a Walmart shopping trip. Wrong place at the wrong time and no way to run.
His attorneys said it was not necessary for him to use the legal system to place restraining orders against his ex and her boyfriend for threatening and following him. They were both just pushing buttons and were not dangerous. He was to just stay out of their way and ignore their malicious games. No one has ever called her on her lies, nor double talk. No one is connecting her patter. She is not the one being charged.
G_____'s move last fall to have his daughter removed from her Mother's care and unsafe environment has his ex using the DA, media, legal programs to do her fighting. She has not had to pay a cent from all these accusations.The years of charges and story building are coming to a head and she is pushing to have him permanently removed, just as she threatened when the courts declared him the legal father of his three-year-old daughter. He has paid dearly for that “win” but not seen his daughter since.
The judge decides on Oct. 20, 2009, what he will allow of past charges to be brought into the Walmart charge. For over 7 years, he pays to fight one accusation and she has another or more ready to go at the same time. This in turn has allowed her to keep him away from the little girl. Technically, the way the judge in the first years applied restraining orders, G_____ is violating his 165 yards by living in his house! Somehow that has not occurred to her or her boyfriend yet.
The DA is trying to show that G_____'s repeated restraining orders sets a pattern as to his bad character. No one, counting his lawyers have stood up and explained that the violations are as bogus as the shopping in Walmart. They pull out a whole list but no details. Nothing about not being able to find toys. Nothing about being at his son's games. Nothing about her no longer going to those games, once she could not have their father arrested, on her court requested weeks. Nothing about her punishing her sons by having no parent on her weeks at school events. None of his lawyers have thought any of her charges through the years have anything to do with one another. His present lawyer says what is past is past and can't be fixed, but now all those past charges are being used as fact and his lawyer sends his junior employee to defend G_____, where in the past, experienced lawyers have barely saved him.
His ex and her boyfriend continue to harass and follow him around. They continue to take the roads by his fields. Last week she and then her boyfriend deliberately used a road to their field, that they did not have to take. Then the boyfriend went by in a truck, pointing a gun out the window at G_____ in the tractor. G_____ was scared and called 911 and a couple of hours later the cops called back and left a message! No one went out to the field where he was spraying. No one checked when he did not return the too late 911 call!
G_____ used his cell to immediately call his lawyers asking what to do. They were in with clients. A few hours later, they had their paralegal email and tell him again not to go to the police. He couldn't produce the gun or a witness so he hadn't a case! Here is a woman who simply phones and accuses him of anything and he has to be arrested and hire lawyers to prove her lies, but his calls are always ignored? G_____ did use his cell to snap a quick picture as the boyfriend by the tractor. The tractor bar blocked the window and only got the truck and not the driver. The guy isn't even supposed to be driving. He doesn't have a license. With his record he isn't supposed to be around guns but it only seems to matter with G_____.
So between 911 and his lawyers, he could be lying out in the field dead and no one would know until his family checked on him. Neither the police, nor his lawyers have followed up. Both parties had his cell number. Again his only help from his attorneys was to advise for him not to involve the police, or place a restraining order to stop his ex and her boyfriend from going on his land or going out of their way to go by his fields when he is working.
From what I read on all the men's sites, this whole story is normal? The guys have to sell their homes, give up their livelihood, and run? Men's safety and civil rights are nil? How scary. The legal and justice system are no longer the same thing. The family law system is a fabulous for-profit tool for the legal profession.
I look at a man who jumps when a door slams in the wind. A man who can't sleep for thinking he is going to be shot through his windows and leaves his lights turned off at night. Who is scared to go anywhere in public, in case, like Walmart he doesn't see her first and is arrested.
He is too broke to continue to defend himself. He can't remember the sequence of events anymore. The constant charges and arrests all blur together. His businesses destroyed., His livelihood in ruins. He paid thousands for his new lawyer to put his boxes of paper records and files into their office system. His new young lawyer is “too busy” to pull out details from years of dates, so can G_____ do a timeline from 2002 until present? The night before they go to the Judge he starts his homework? How can you defend someone against the past when you don't take it serious until the night before? G_____ can't even remember to fill up the truck before heading to town, let alone what happened May 2002, June 2002, Sept., 2002... Certainly after paying them so much to scan his records into their system, they have a search feature in the program to pull up each date and ask him specific questions?
Most of all I see a man who is losing all hope and looking desperate to stop this cycle. A man who is not and has not had his story told. He can't think. He doesn't even know what he is charged with, and what has been thrown out. How what he understood to be temporary orders, through the years have been called permanent and no one can show him the records of judges changing them. There is so much material that no one can sift it, so his ex says whatever she wants, presses charge after charge, she wins in her goal to “make sure he ends up broken and gone.” But, somehow, she is the victim.
I don't know how you continue to fight. I don't know how you hear these stories and the vet's horrors and continue. G_____ feels broken and defeated. He has no faith in humanity, nor in anything legal. He has spent more time in jail fighting these charges every year than anyone who has ever been convicted of a crime.
This scared woman is so petrified of him, that while she was crying and carrying on in Walmart for her audience, she didn't tell them she was deliberately moving down the road from him, next to the store he goes to and his church. Immediately after moving in, she called the Washington County Sheriff to put a restraining order violation on him. It had worked so well in 2002 and 2003. This time they refused, as she was the one moving into the area. The three people on their old staff had been removed and there were new staff. Once she didn't get anywhere she left that as her address and moved back to her home.
I was reading your site again. Even the lawyers admit the Family Law system is seriously flawed. They all admit the DV programs are being abused but not one of the lawyers will speak up. None of G_____'s attorneys will help him find a way to purge bogus charges, or put a restraining order on her or her boyfriend, or even sue her for fraud.
He has absolutely no representation unless he continues to mortgage land. As soon as his $4,000 or $5,000 retainers are used or nearing its end, the lawyers slow down their “work” for him. She and her boyfriend are allowed to go on his land, beat his children, follow and harass him and with absolutely no evidence, except her word, he is the one who is labeled. No one in the community can believe what is happening. How are other men, who did not have a four-generation farm to mortgage to the hilt, paying for their fight?
I've spent the last four hours reading the papers on your site and comparing the stories against other sites. This really is a horrific abuse of the law. Integrity, justice, truth are no longer ideals for the legal system?
I am sitting here thinking of how my ex, after ten years, is still sinking to new lows, and not once, no matter how much I dislike him, have I done anything to him to hurt him on purpose. No matter how much I would like to! I hate that some women are undoing all the work that women had to die, so help would be put in place.
I hate that I am encouraging a man to leave a little girl to her own defences. When this Walmart charge is over he will have to accept he will never be the legal father of his daughter. The bond is broke and his life is in danger and he is beyond broke and destroyed. She has taken his daughter, blackmailed him with the possibility of losing his sons and payment was his land, most of the farming equipment, his grandparents inheritance.
She and the judges have managed to destroy his real estate and insurance and farming. She can accuse him of whatever and have no witnesses, but he has witnesses and is dismissed? He is too scared to have company in case the boyfriend or the ex decide to terrorize him by shooting up the house, like they did his truck years ago.
I haven't told him yet but his sons know there isn't a farm to come back to. One is deliberately starting his future out of Colorado so the ex and her boyfriend won't come after him like his little brother. The bills to the lawyers have mortgaged his land to over $635,000. A four-generation farm ruined by a woman who fooled around in the neighborhood, has been a liar since she was young, and cried wolf to a for-profit legal system who depends on programs to fund their bank accounts. It is to the legal systems benefit to keep the Family Law system broken.
You have been fighting to fix this since 2001? How? I am seeing a broken man who has fighting to stay clear since 2002 and he is about used up. How do you and your group do it?
I'm fighting my own legal nightmares, but am on the opposite side. Unlike G_____... it isn't worth it to me to continue the fight. My children are raised and as they are becoming older the stories my ex told are unravelling. Too late, but not irreparable. The rest is just money and stuff. I am not going to die fighting to show the legal system how crooked he is, nor how they helped him. This Colorado mess has shown me what is important and not. I fought for my girls but will not fight for money that was supposed to be locked away. It isn't worth it.
So after this hugely long story my thanks to people like you and your group who try to right the legal system. I don't have your stamina. I only have enough energy for G_____'s trials and by changing and encouraging him to trust his daughter will be okay, and protect himself, instead of continuing to try to think he can protect her, I am giving up the belief in help or justice. I can't encourage him to continue to fight an impossible fight. I am not down there and I don't know Colorado laws. It scares me when the last of his hope goes, or his belief in the law protecting him.
His buying cameras to place on his land so he can at least have proof when they finally “kill him.” His getting his will and insurance in order so his sons can be looked after when they finally finish him off. His records of how he has looked for help and not had it, so his sons can sue the legal profession, child advocates, and their Mom and her boyfriend.
I am so sad and scared to watch him give up hope.
Good luck with keeping the hope alive with the other poor guys who are out there. I know they aren't all like my ex, just as I am not like G_____'s ex... but we aren't leaving any working laws for the next generation.
I'll continue to follow your groups fight, but can't do anything from here. I am too inexperienced to follow this horrid use of the legal system.
I am so sorry I am tired of fighting an impossible fight. He told me four years ago that he didn't think he was going to find any protection and like a cheerleader I pushed that he was wrong! Justice always wins. This latest charge has pushed him a wee bit too far and I am scared of how defeated he looks.
Take care. This is one Thanksgiving I am so glad I did not become a Julie. I am so glad there are groups like yours. Up until the 1920's up here, it was women who were fighting for rights and justice. Now the circle has come around.
My name is Susan and we live in central lower Michigan. My husband is going to be sentenced later this month for domestic violence because my 22-year-old daughter called 911 after an argument with him (her stepfather).
My husband was drunk and knocked over a few pieces of furniture. Nothing was broken. My husband then went out to the pole barn and passed out. My daughter then called her boyfriend (that got her pregnant). He told her to call 911. My daughter threw boards at my husband that left major bruises on this chest and said that my husband had left bruises on me (I have a skin condition that is just pigment loss). The cops took pictures of my neck, believed my daughter, but not me, and took my husband to jail. This was July 29, 2005, and we were not allowed contact for several weeks. My daughter wanted my husband out of the way so mom would support her, her loser boyfriend, and the baby. I moved her out August 3 rd and it is all I can do to even talk to her now.
My husband is now going to Alcoholics Anonymous and counseling (it costs him $45 each time and insurance pays the other $45). The insurance did not pay the $150 assessment or for his complete physical and tests. I don't even want to add up all that this has cost us. His fine could be $1,000 plus the lawyer bill, court fees, monitoring fees, and who knows what else.
I came home from work as usual about 4:30 PM in April 2004 and noticed my husband's car wasn't home yet. I should have known I was in trouble then. I walked in and my 20-year-old daughter immediately started screaming at me that she needed some personal items and couldn't find any. I walked in my room to find them and the phone rang. It was her girlfriend Christy. I told her I would have Joanna call her back as she was in the bathroom. When I walked up the hall to give her what she needed, she grabbed them. I told her to call Christy back. She called me a c_nt at the top of her lungs.
I was already nervous because this had happened to me before. So I should have kept right on driving when I knew my husband wasn't home. The previous time it was a plate full of food and silverware that I got hit with. The time before that it was cans of beer. Anyway, when she insulted me, I was so nervous I slapped her. I actually wanted to punch her but changed my hand at the last second. She came at me like I was a guy. She followed me to the front door. It was open and I was trying to get out and close it but she would not stop.
I kept trying to calm her down and told her please stop screaming, all the neighbors are listening. All that did was make her scream and swear louder. I somehow got away and went to the back yard. She followed me there also. All I wanted her to do was stop and leave me alone and leave my house.
What a joke! It's not my house anymore. She controls me. She would not stop. She kept screaming and swearing. I told her I was going to call the police to make her stop and to make her leave. She told me she would dial for me.
She kept it up so finally I made the worst mistake of my life, I dialed 911. They were very nice on the phone, even very helpful, wanted to know if I was alright, and where my daughter was. I told them I was out in the backyard and it was all over, and all I really called them for was for them to tell her to please leave.
At this point I became afraid my daughter was going to get in trouble. So I said forget it, my husband will be home any minute and will take care of it, and hung up.
About five minutes later the police called me back and wanted to know where I was and where my daughter was. I told them I was fine and she was in her bedroom. They actually kept me on the phone till the police arrived. I told my daughter to stay in her room and I would handle it. I answered the door and they walked in and asked for my daughter. I told them she was in her room, I started to walk down the hall because she could not hear me as her door was closed. The police told me not to move.
They knocked on her door with their hands on their guns and told her to come out, hands out. This was getting out of hand at this point. I hadn't been home five minutes when this all started. Two police talked to her and god knows what she said, she was angry with me. I was talking to the other two in the living room. I told them what had happened and I could hear her talking, not once saying she hit me or scared me.
All of a sudden I realized it wasn't my daughter who was in trouble, it was me.
In the meantime my husband came home. The police would not let him in and he was told to stand down and not come in our house. At this point the police officers, all of them about 24 years old, had been at our house for well over 45 minutes. That was certainly enough time to call and ask for a woman police officer to come. But no, the male officers arrested me and frisked me, patting me down right in front of my husband.
I was now under arrest, I guess due to the fact that I struck her first. Never mind that I am always the one living in fear of what she can do to me and my house, just that I struck her first.
They didn't have to do this. It was all over in a couple of seconds and they knew it. They were all rookies and looking in the book for what to do next. I asked them if I could take my anxiety medicine with me? They said no, the nurse on duty would have it. When the officer put me in the back seat of the cruiser, I asked if they could buckle my hands under my legs and not to my back as I have an implant that feeds to my spine and it was hurting me. They said no.
When I got to the police station they were very mean and nasty, except for one policeman who was trying to help me because I was so upset. He told me he had checked with the desk and that I would go in front of the judge at 2 PM the next day. I didn't think anything of it due to the fact that they said I would be locked up for 12 hours. Guess what? He lied.
I finally got through to my husband and told him to call me in sick to work, and to be there at 2:00 PM the next day as I could see the judge then. That was a lie also. My husband got there and was treated like a criminal himself. He had to wait for the whole court to finish before anyone would help him. When it was over and he realized I was not there, he asked where I was? He was told my court appearance was not until the next day at 2 PM. They let him call me and at that point you have to remember I have serious Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Syndrome with an implanted pump, and I need my anxiety medicine and had not had it. I was scared and upset and I didn't know yet that I wasn't going to court. I thought I was, and was waiting and waiting for them to call me. I was screaming at my poor husband to get me out of there, and that I know I should not of hit Joanna but she scared me, and to please bail me out as I could not stay another minute.
He was screaming at me too as he didn't know what to do. We don't have $1000 dollars to just throw away. So he went and found a bondsman to bail me out and that is when he found out you don't get the bail money back anymore. He couldn't get in touch with me again to ask if I would stay in jail another day. I think at this point he knew I was too upset and scared to stay with no medicine.
At this point I found out I was getting bailed out and they told me they would call me and tell me to stand down, which meant to sit at the table with all articles of clothing, bedding etc. folded and wait for them to call me. They told me it could take a couple of hours.
I sat, and I sat, and I sat, and all the while I could hear the guards laughing at me, and talking about me. All I wanted to do was get out of there. I was scared, tired, and cold. I sat there for over four hours before I was finally moved to another location, where I'd come in at. Then I was locked in another small room and given my clothes to change into. They were the clothes I was wearing when I'd come home from work the day before. I changed into them, a tee-shirt, pj pants, underwear, and a pair of socks. I was freezing and waited for almost another four hours. They finally let me out and I had to go to the main desk to get my jewelry and sign papers to come back to court again. I was furious at this point, and said so. The deputies asked me if I would like to wait some more? I said no, I just want to go home.
I walked outside and my husband was at the door, where he had been since 2:30 that afternoon. He was very upset himself. He had to take me to the bail bondsman to sign forms, where I felt even more like a criminal.
On the way home he told me he had heard from our daughter and that she'd asked if she could come home as she had nowhere to go. Wasn't this great? I'm coming home from prison because of her and she is allowed to come home. He said she was very sorry for what happened. I didn't want her home but what was I going to do at this point.
As soon as we got home I was out in the backyard smoking a cigarette and Joanna came home. She came in the backyard and hugged me and said I' m sorry Ma but I told you not to call the police. Also, she would not admit she hit me. I cant even look at her now without thinking of what has happened to me.
This whole thing should not have happened and its not fair. I' m not a violent person and my daughter, the one with the violence problem, gets off scot free. This is a real joke at this point and every time I bring something up my husband, or anyone else, says it all over, just let it go. Well I cant let it go. I' m the only one suffering from it, no one else.
The next day I called a lawyer and made an appointment. My husband and I went together and the lawyer was very sympathetic and understanding. He told us not to worry as he would go with self defense and that he would make an appointment before the trial with my husband and I and my daughter to see how to work this out. I was not to worry, I would not have to go to jail for 6 to 12 months as I was told. I would get off, is what he said.
Needless to say he never made an appointment for all of us and I had to keep calling him, not the other way around. I had paid him for his service in advance but I was getting no help since making the payment. My husband and daughter got registered letters from the court that they would testify for the state. So I called my lawyer again, and he said again not to worry, this was routine. I would get off on self defense, my daughter would say whatever was needed to be said, etc.
The morning of the preliminary hearing we all went together but my lawyer didn't show up. We had to go to the DA's office first. They interviewed my daughter and my husband separately. My husband was on tape talking to me in jail, with me saying I should not have hit Joanna. Joanna came out saying she would be held in contempt of court by the state if she didn't do what they said.
Still no lawyer and we didn't see him until about two minutes before entering the court room. Guess what he now had to say? I was in trouble! They had me on the phone saying I hit Joanna. Never mind the article I gave him on Paxil making teenagers violent, moody, and quick to upset. Never mind that I had already been hit by her more than once, and had plates of food and utensils thrown at me, as well as cans of soda and beer, and broken walls and tile floors in my house. None of that mattered.
It didn't matter that I was scared and innocent and had been hit and verbally abused by my daughter for the last two years. I could go to jail, this could cost me lots of money and upset my husband and family. I had to settle for what he could get me as the four police officers where there to hang me. And now my daughter, whom I wasn't sure about to begin with, was saying she was not going to get in trouble for this and was not going to get held in contempt of court. Never mind that she had already sold me down the river, god knows what she had said in her report, she might get in trouble for something she didn't do? Give me a break. This whole thing was ludicrous, a joke, but it wasn't funny.
I was scared and I never wanted to go back to court. The lawyer promised me that if I took a plea bargain all I would have against me was simple battery and nothing else would happen. My husband just wanted it over and my daughter said she could not take more time from work.I was scared to death, and nobody cared, so I took the plea bargain.
I still live in fear every time I come home and my husband's car isn't home. I pray that my daughter isn't there. I don't know what is going to happen next, or what she will do.
Since my conviction for domestic violence I have been applying for jobs and keep being turned down. I'd applied for one job that would have been great for me. Lots more money, which everyone needs, and right up my alley. I know they were really interested in me by the number of times they called until they got my background report. Just think about it, who would you hire: someone with DV on their record, or someone with a clean past? In this day and age everyone worries about people flipping out, killing their coworkers etc.
From: Roberta (used with permission, names are changed)
Subject: False Domestic Violence Charges
Date: Wed, 3 Mar 2004 08:23:33 -0800
I am writing you in hopes that you may be able to provide some assistance/guidance in an unbelievable and frightening situation. My name is Roberta. I am the “alleged” victim in a current DV case. My fiance Rob is currently incarcerated in County Jail.
This began last Wednesday night after attending a party at a friends house. Rob and I had been arguing and arrived home in that state. I should stop at this point and explain that we both had gone through some pretty serious ordeals the past month and I believe this frustration and anxiety had been building, causing the outburst between us.
After arriving home we went to our bedroom. The argument escalated and some pretty ugly things were voiced. I at this point was so outraged that I tried to strike Rob who immediately put both his arms up to defend himself. In doing so he caused me to trip over a clothes basket that was directly behind me causing me to semi fall and scratch my back on the bed post. I freaked out at that point and pushed past him to get out of the room, knocking a shelf over in the process. Rob then grabbed his coat and responsibly left the premises. My 19 yr. old son, who had been out in the living room through all this, took off after him to make sure he was okay.
I was still angry picked up the phone and dialed 911, realized what I was doing and hung up thinking the call was never completed. I still have no idea what possessed me to do so other than intense hurt from what had been said.
The police arrived at my door apprx. 15-20 minutes later. I told them that nothing was wrong and that the 911 was an accident. The officer responding said that he could see that I was visibly upset and that he would like to come in and check out the house. I said that there was no need for that but he insisted that since a 911 had been placed he had every right to investigate if he felt there was a problem. Upon entering he asked me who Rob P___ was. I asked why he would want to know that and he said that the phone registered that name. I told him Rob was my fiancé and that he occasionally stayed here. He then asked if my son was home and if he had done something to me. I said no he was not home and that there was no way he would ever do anything to me. He at this point caught something on his radio and stepped any for a few moments. Coming back he then asked me if Rob was still on the premises, I said he was not. He asked if Rob had hurt me in any way which I told him no. He then, and this is so weird it's almost funny, wrote on a piece of paper and handed it to me. It said “Are you alone and able to talk?”. In the back of my mind I' m thinking this guy watches way too many movies but told him yes I was alone other than my daughter who was asleep upstairs.
He then told that I was going to need to cooperate with him if he was going to be able to help me. I said I needed no help and would he please leave. He said that he had seen the mark on my back (I was wearing pj bottoms and a tank top) and knew that Rob had done that to me.
He said the dispatcher had told him that Rob has a warrant against him and that he also had a serious history of domestic violence (the warrant was for failing to fulfill a traffic situation obligation and his history of DV's consisted of a ticked off girlfriend years ago filing charges against him. These were thrown out of court and the girl was ordered to have a psychiatric evaluation).
I believe this is where the true insanity started. That upon reading that there had been previous charges filed against Rob this officer was out to get a women beater. He again asked if Rob had hurt my back and I again told him no. I told him what had actually happened and the weird thing is that this seemed to fuel the fire. He said “Oh, so he did strike you?” I again said no and said that I had tripped. He asked how the shelf in my room got knocked over and I told him I did it getting out of the room. He said “So Rob was holding you against your will in that room?” I said no, that I just wanted out and wasn't willing to give him a chance to move.
He then asked me about some marks on my neck. At first I didn't know what he was talking about and turned to look in the mirror behind me. I explained that those marks were from last week when, in a hurry to get my clothes changed and to an appointment, I had caught my necklace on my sweater while taking it off and scratched my neck. He said it looked as though Rob had tried, at one point to choke.
He was asking a million questions at once and becoming quite aggressive, freaking me out more than a little. He asked me if Rob had ever threatened me with injury or death. I said “Are you serious? Oh yeah, he does that on a regular basis.” He then starts writing in his report book, which he's been doing since he arrived, and says so he has threatened you. I felt like screaming but said I had not been serious and that it should have been obvious. He responded that threats like that are serious as is holding someone against their will and doing them bodily harm. He said he had noted all these things and that they would find Rob and arrest him. I couldn't believe what I was hearing, I kept thinking I was going to wake up any minute and realize that this was a really bad dream.
At this point he and another officer searched my house top to bottom, finding nothing. He said he was going outside for a minute and would be right back. Upon returning he had another officer with him and they told me that they had a dog out looking for Rob. They wanted to check the house again in case “Rob had snuck back in”. The officer also said he would like to photograph my back. I said no, that there was no need for that. He said if that were true then I shouldn't mind and followed me into the kitchen while taking pictures. They then searched my house a second time.
He came back downstairs and asked me if I would make a statement and I said no I would not. He then said that they would be right across the street if I changed my mind or needed anything and to call them if Rob called or came back.
At this point it is now around 4am, at 5 am the officer calls me and asks if I' m alright. I tell him yes I am and am trying to get some sleep. He asks again if I would like to make a statement and I again say no.
At 8 am he arrives back with the Chief of Police and asks for a statement. I tell both of them no and say that nothing happened and they leave.
I knew exactly where Rob had gone, down the street to a friends house. I also knew that he would be calling me, which he did. I told him what had happened and that the police were looking for him. I said that we needed to talk and figure out what to do as this had gotten so out of control. He felt that they had most likely read that old report and neglected to read the whole thing and that it had been dropped. He came back to my house and we were both in shock at how a fight and more than a little stupidity on my part had so quickly gotten out of control.
At apprx. 6 pm Rob and I were standing in the living room, curtains closed like criminals, and there was a bang on the door. I instinctively pushed Rob into the bathroom he was standing by and my door flew open. The same officer came bursting into my house seeing my daughter just dart into the kitchen. He yelled “Who is that?” moving forward while unsnapping his gun holster. I yelled “That's my kid!”. He then saw Rob and hauled him back into the living room and arresting him. He is being charged with unlawful imprisonment, bodily harm, impeding a 911 call and two other misdemeanors.
At this point I need to tell you that in all of our relationship neither one of us has ever so much as raised a hand to each other. There has never been a DV 911 call made by myself to this or any other home I've occupied.
The only thing we are guilty of is having human emotions and the fact that I was stupid enough at the time to pick up that phone.
We do not have a lot of money but I have obtained a lawyer who in turn referred one to me. Rob's council seems to feel that, like the officer, the DA on this case is looking at the old report and is basing his decision on that. Oh, and you want to know what the real kicker is in all this? The Mother of the girl who made up that story works in the very same courthouse that Rob's being tried in. Our attorneys seem to think that she has been a major influence in Rob officially being charged today. This is a woman that has worked with everyone of the people involved. They take coffee breaks together for crying out loud! I' m told there is no way to prove she has any influence over this case.
So, I guess I' m writing to you, after reading your article on the Equal Justice Foundation web site, in hope that you may know something or someone that could help us. This isn't the way the law is supposed to work and although I think that officer had my best interest in mind he went way too far.
It scares me to think that the DA's office think that they have enough probable cause to go ahead and file charges. They have no statement or any signed document from me and we have a signed statement from my son and from the friends Rob stayed with that night. This feels like the Twilight Zone to me right now. I feel I need to do everything within my power to keep this from getting any worse than it already has. Please help if you can with any advice, online/state groups, advocates or anything you might think useful I would so appreciate it. I feel so frustrated and need to do as much as I can for Rob. Thank you.
From: Lynn Hyer
Date: Tuesday, 8 July 2003 07:25:51 EDT
Subject: How can I get my children back?
I don't know where else to turn. Perhaps you can point me in the right direction. My husband has been accused of sexually abusing my children (6 and 14). They are my natural children, and he is my second husband.
Without getting into all of the details, let me just say that I believe he is innocent. I believe my youngest daughter has been led down a bunny trail and I think my oldest daughter saw this as a chance to get to be with her daddy. She and my husband don't get along and I don't think she realizes the seriousness of these allegations.
My girls were kidnapped by CPS in March. Due to some very poor legal advice, I allowed my girls to go live with their natural father and his wife in Germany, since he is in the Army.
Now I find out that I don't really have a chance of getting my girls back. I was led to believe that this was a temporary measure, just to get them away from the whole situation. Now I've found out that I will probably never have them again, except for visitation.
As a matter of fact, I was supposed to have them for visitation starting July 1st. CPS tried to cut off my visit. I still don't have them. Originally I was supposed to have them for 30 days.
My husband has been charged with aggravated sexual assault and indecency/fondling. He has never spoken to anyone — not CPS, not the police, not the D.A. — no one. Yet, it has been decided that he is guilty. I have been told, by a CPS worker, that even if he is found not guilty in a criminal court of law, as far as she and CPS is concerned, he is guilty, period, and will be treated as such for the rest of his life.
I have been told that I have to divorce my husband and not only that, I have been told that if it is found out that I am seeing him, that I will be charged as well. CPS contacted the D.A. and got a restraining order to prohibit him from seeing the children while they are here for visitation — I was expecting that — but also against him seeing me! I can't help but feel that this is illegal. I never thought that someone else could file a restraining order to prohibit a husband and wife from seeing each other, if neither of them wished it to be so.
My husband requested a court appointed attorney, as he cannot afford one, but has never seen one. That was over a month ago. He was never notified of the Grand Jury hearing, nor was he allowed to present his side of the story. I feel like he is being railroaded in a kangaroo court, where the judge does whatever CPS recommends. I cannot believe that an organization could have so much power. Our lives have been shattered. Nothing will ever be the same. I cannot contemplate the fact that I may never have my girls again. In fact, I believe that CPS will eventually try to terminate my parental rights, the way things are going so far.
I don't think I could live with myself if I abandoned someone I love, whom I believe is innocent. I honestly believe, with all my heart, that my husband did not commit these heinous crimes. But I have been told, by my attorney, by family, by friends, to cut all ties to him. My own family is actually mad at me because I am standing beside him. Our church has abandoned us. This issue is just “too heavy” for them to handle. Of course, they' re praying for us, and we appreciate the prayers. We feel that only God can get us out of this mess. Daily I pray that the truth will be revealed, that we will find wise counsel, and that God will guide us through all of this.
I don't know where else to turn. I have prayed that this case would come to the attention of someone who would tear down the walls of power CPS has erected around itself. I pray that legislation would be passed to take away this power. All over the country, there are parents like us who have been victimized and persecuted by CPS. What has our country come to, that we could be treated like this? I believe this organization was begun with good intentions, but somehow it has evolved into a monster that has gotten out of control.
My husband may very well spend the rest of his life in prison, even though there isn't a shred of evidence. My attorney told me that it isn't fair and it isn't just, but that this is the way it is.
I am overwhelmed. I thought we had Constitutional Rights. I believed that a man was innocent until proven guilty. I thought that if someone was found innocent in a court of law, that he could not be tried again. I have found out that isn't so. That he can be tried in civil court for the same crime, or maybe not even that, but branded as a sexual offender.
I thought that evidence had to be real evidence, not simply the opinion of one person. I thought that was hearsay. Apparently it isn't hearsay in family court. I thought I had parental rights, until my children were stolen away from me. I thought I was a pretty decent parent, until I was characterized as having “poor parenting skills” by someone who had never met me. I've been a mother for 14 1/2 years. I've raised my children through every situation imaginable. I was an Army wife for 12 years — and if that doesn't take strength, skill and imagination, I don't know what does. I feel like we are living in a “Big Brother” world. I' m just waiting for the cameras to be installed in our homes.
From: Lynn Hyer
Date: Thursday, 10 July 2003 14:19:31 EDT
I got my kids yesterday afternoon. It is so wonderful and heart-breaking to see them. I got my first unannounced visit from CPS this morning — I had just gotten out of the shower and was still in my bathrobe.
I was informed that in order to have any kind of relationship with my kids, I have to divorce my husband and sever all contact with him, period. I asked her what difference it made, since they've already decided I' m not going to have custody of my kids. She said I still have a chance. Up until now, they've been pretty much saying I don't really have a chance, now they' re taunting me. But I have to get divorced. I told her it was a violation of my religious beliefs. She said that unless I get divorced, I can't see the kids. I take that to mean they will recommend that my parental rights be violated.
I' m a little overwhelmed at the moment. You can put an email link on my story if you like.
I would have never been interested in this topic had I not married a man that had been through it. We have been together 6.5 years and married 5.5 of them. His former wife followed the now usual pattern: consulted an attorney (before he even knew she wanted out); the attorney advised her to use the next argument to get a restraining order (he threw a coffee cup at the stove during the argument); he left for work the next morning and while he was there she filed for the protection order and he was served at work; he was escorted to the house by a sheriff's deputy to get one change of clothes; he was told he could not access any of the family bank accounts (he would be jailed for contempt if he did); she could spend as much of the money as she wanted; she could write to him and call him but told him that if he did the same in return she would call the cops; he could see his kids under supervision only; pay child support for the time he was exiled ($360 a week for a truck driver); she sent Christmas cards to most people in their church, family and friends explaining to them that he had beaten her for years and what a terrible husband and father he was; she was allowed to quit her job and go to school full time to get a different career using the family money (if he wanted to change jobs he was told he would be in contempt).
After the divorce was finally final (he was kicked out in July of 1995, he filed in May of 1996 and it was final in March of 1997) she was going around town showing some pictures of proof of the abuse. The pictures were from a car accident she had in March of 1995 in which the air bag hit her in the face (bruises), broke her glasses (cuts) and bruised her chest. My husband's attorney told him there is no way to fight it. She can slander him with out recourse.
He has never lifted a finger to harm me in any way. He has never harmed the kids. If there was a tendency in this man towards violence I would have thought I should have seen it by now (5 years later). I had no idea until I started hearing about organizations like yours that what happened to him was a common tactic of divorce attorneys. There is no defense. He was guilty from the time of the first complaint. He had no protections under our Constitution. Due process was avoided and ignored. It was a sham.
I didn't mention the abuse my husband's former wife inflicted on him. The hitting, scratching and biting. It never occurred to him to report it. He always thought it was something they would work through because he wanted to keep the marriage intact. After she had him in exile for 10 months he finally figured out it was a game to her. She never asked for a divorce. So in May of 1996 he filed. She got more hateful than before. I guess it was like “How dare you. I' m in control of this situation.” As so commonly happens she has done her best to convince the (now adult) children that they were also abused (it didn't happen). They were 19, 16, and 13 when she kicked him out. The only one that will speak to him is the youngest. He came to live with us when he was 16. When the youngest came to our house it enraged her. More lawyers and courts. In Iowa a child can choose where he wants to live at 14. She told him that it wasn't fair that she had to pay child support to him because he owed her. She paid $100 a month on a salary of $45,000. He paid (for the same child) $250 a week on a salary of $50,000. It still stirs up a lot of emotion in me to remember what we went through during the time he lived with us (he left this spring at 19).
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