EJF Newsletter — Marriage's End
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Issues The Equal Justice Foundation Deals With
| Civilization | Families and Marriage | Global Domestic Violence | Domestic Violence Against Men in Colorado | Emerson story |
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Prologue
Abel's unfortunate saga begins and ends like so many other poor souls who thought that marriage necessarily provided the stability we tend to need as we get older and wiser and settle down in our lives. Abel believed he had that stability with his wife, as they had been married a solid twenty years and Abel's career was going well; a career Abel most certainly did not want to jeopardize.
Unfortunately for Abel, the twenty years of effort spent in his marriage would leave him with nothing more than a bad taste in his mouth as one fateful night demonstrated that his commitment to the marriage was very one-sided.
Note that at the request of the husband, names have been changed and biblical terms used instead.
December 2014
In the middle of December 2014 Abel, 55, his oldest brother Cain, and his wife Jezebel, 45, were having dinner at his house. Abel decided to go to bed early as he had things to do early that next morning. Abel woke up later that night; shortly before midnight and noticed his wife was not in the bed. Abel also checked the house to find that she was not there. Abel then looked outside to see Jezebel sitting in his brother's lap by a fire.
Acting on a gut feeling of other affairs in the past, Abel watched them for a moment to see how far it went. As Abel approached the two of them he heard her moaning and groaning and kissing his left ear. The realization that Jezebel was having an affair with his brother Cain sank in.
After telling his brother to leave, Abel retreated into the house where Jezebel followed. He could tell she was drunk as she just swayed and stared at him.
The following day, Abel knew all the other gut feelings about his wife having affairs were more than likely true. This hit Abel like an epiphany. The fact that his wife was confident enough to seduce his own brother at their home, and while he was there brought this all to light.
Abel decided he would file for divorce after the holidays because he was not about to put up with Jezebel's lies and cheating that were so mentally and emotionally destructive for him. Although he had made up his mind, Abel said nothing to his wife about the previous night.
New Years 2015
About two weeks later on New Year's Eve, Abel, Jezebel, and his two brothers were having the traditional New Year's Eve dinner at his house in Pueblo. Abel had decided he wanted to have one last good memory of his wife and oldest brother before he filed for divorce.
Abel, Jezebel, and two brothers had dinner, enjoyed some drinks and watched the fireworks for the New Year. Abel's oldest brother, Cain, left the house before midnight. Abel's younger brother had driven down from Trinidad and decided to sleep on the couch right outside the master bedroom that night.
Around 3 AM Abel and his wife retreated into the master bedroom to call it a night. Again, Abel had to get up early that morning and elected to go straight to sleep while his wife was supposedly getting ready for bed.
Jezebel, however, was feeling a little frisky and wanted intercourse with Abel. With the affairs fresh in his mind, Abel declined and instead asked his wife to leave the master bedroom and sleep in the other room. Jezebel repeatedly asked why until finally Abel asked her: “How long have you been fucking my brother?” She became offended and Abel asked her to leave the bedroom. He would have been fine with her simply leaving the room until he saw her getting the car keys out of her purse. Abel took the keys from her as she was intoxicated and he did not want her to drive.
After falling asleep for approximately thirty minutes, however, Abel awoke to the sound of the garage door opening and noticed the car keys were missing. He ran outside to see Jezebel just pulling away in his Jeep; he was too late to stop her.
Abel knew his wife was intoxicated. Abel called Cain's wife, Mary, and told her that he had discovered; Cain and Jezebel were having an affair. After some contemplation, Abel called the Pueblo County Sheriff to report his wife being intoxicated and out driving. Abel explained to dispatch that Jezebel was drunk and that he had tried to stop her; but she left in his jeep.
Sometime later on New Year's morning, Jezebel found herself stuck in Custer County where she reportedly believed she was in the hardscrabble campground. Instead, she was actually on private property where the owner proceeded to contact police because of her intoxicated status.
When Custer County Deputy Wenzel asked Jezebel what happened, she said that she got into an argument with her husband at their house in Pueblo West. She said she left the house leaving her license and purse, got in the Jeep and just started driving. She said she did not know where she was going. Deputy Wenzel, the arresting officer, did not see any scratches, bruises or redness on Jezebel. Deputy Wenzel noted in his report that she stumbled out of the jeep and he had to help Jezebel to the patrol car where she was handcuffed.
She was then arrested for DUI.
At 6:43 AM the Custer County sheriff's office left a voice mail message for Abel that Jezebel had been picked up for DUI because her blood alcohol content was 0.099. Abel was asked to come and bail his wife out of jail but declined to do so. He was then asked to bring her driver's license and he would be given the keys to his vehicle to try and retrieve it.
The Pueblo County Sheriff showed up at Abel's house at 06:49, where Abel explained the situation to Deputy S. Blair. He also told the deputy that Jezebel had tried to get him to hit her. Abel told the deputy there was no physical altercation between him and his wife. If he had, Abel would have arrested on the spot for domestic violence. After the officer walked through the house looking for signs of domestic violence, he told Abel there was nothing they could do because the vehicle was marital property and he left.
Domestic violence
At this point, Abel had been on an emotional roller coaster that anyone would need to take a step back from. After five days of this, Abel started cleaning the kitchen and found his wife's bottle of vodka. As he normally didn't drink liquor, he intended to pour it down the sink but decided instead to drink the vodka.
Abel then started watching Spaghetti Westerns and, out of sheer grief, Abel even momentarily had suicidal thoughts as his entire world was crashing down on him. Abel received a text from Jezebel's sister that she had just found out about what was happening and that Abel did not deserve this. Abel's sister in-law gave Abel needed support and Abel quickly broke free of his suicidal thoughts. What he did next; however, would prove disastrous to his already heart-breaking situation.
Abel had recently been target practicing and left his guns on the counter intending to clean them. While texting Jezebel's sister, Abel took a picture of the guns and captioned it “Coming for justice.”
Abel made the stupid mistake of sending the text and photo to his Jezebel's sister in what he thought was an effort to let her know that Abel was no longer suicidal. Unfortunately, Jezebel's sister naturally had a different interpretation of the picture and forwarded the text to her mother. The two of them then went to the Pueblo police the next day to file a domestic violence report.
The domestic violence report was all that was necessary for Jezebel to absolve herself of the situation entirely. The simple claim of fleeing a situation of domestic violence allowed Custer County to drop the DUI charges against Jezebel. But before they would drop the charges the Custer County DA called the Pueblo County district attorney to make sure the charges of domestic violence were filed against Abel. Abel was then arrested and charged with simple harassment, an M3 misdemeanor.
This misdemeanor charge, standing alone is not such a big deal, but the court found the charge included an act of domestic violence when it issued the warrant for Abel's arrest. The add-on of domestic violence required mandatory restraining orders and the relinquishing of all Abel's weapons and ammunition. Abel was then called by a Pueblo County Deputy and asked several questions over the phone. The deputy asked Abel if he grabbed his wife and Abel responded “ I don't think so.” The questioning then became more aggressive, as it usually does, and Abel responded “ I may have, I'm not sure.” Keep in mind Abel did take away the keys from Jezebel in an effort to keep a drunk off the road.
Abel, having never been in trouble with the law before and knowing that he had not assaulted his wife in any way, pled not guilty to the charges. Abel put his faith in the justice system as he was taught that if you're innocent, the truth will prevail. Abel, as the uninformed unfortunately and consistently do, believed that he was not guilty. He hadn't done anything wrong and surely a jury would see that. Abel's innocent assumption that the courts and the judicial system were about guilt and innocence would come back to haunt him. The District Attorney's Office offered Abel a plea deal which Abel declined to accept and elected to instead let a jury hear the facts — all of the facts.
Abel hired what he thought was a good attorney as he prepared for trial. It is important to note that once Abel's attorney received the discovery from the District Attorney's Office that it included the booking videos labeled # 2 and # 3 disks, and photographs of bruises located on his wife's forearm and upper arms. These marks were supposedly left on Jezebel on the night in question and gave rise to the charge of assault.
The #1 disk that was not turned over to Abel's attorney was believed to be the dash camera video of Jezebel's arrest. As Abel, noted the photographs of Jezebel's bruises were taken five days later and are inconsistent with the story his wife had told police, Abel believed the video would have shown her intoxicated status and the fact that the police report had indicated the deputy had to “help her” into the patrol car. The bruises in the photographs, inconsistent with Jezebel's story, did appear to be consistent with police pressure point control tactics and most certainly would have been warranted to control an unruly and intoxicated individual.
Abel's attorney, John Newsome, who Abel paid about $7,000, promised to aggressively defend Abel. He pledged to file a multitude of motions, call Abel's sister-in-law for her testimony and attack all of the inconsistencies with Jezebel's story, as well as the evidence.
In the end, however, Newsome did not call his wife's sister, did not file any motions, did not aggressively cross-examine Jezebel, or attack any of the inconsistencies related to his wife's story and the arrest. What this attorney actually did is considered ineffective counsel. Thus, the trial boiled down to nothing more than a he-said, she-said argument for the jury. Ultimately, with the photograph of Abel's guns captioned “Coming for Justice,” and Jezebel's testimony claiming she had endured years of emotional and physical abuse, Abel never stood a chance.
Justice?
Abel now admits how unprepared he felt and how rushed the entire proceedings seemed to be. At one point, getting a fair trial was even questioned because the Jezebel's cousin sat on the jury. As the juror was challenged as biased, Judge Lobato asked if the juror thought he could be fair. He simply answered yes and was allowed to remain seated on the jury. Apparently neither County Court Judge David Lobato or Abel's incompetent attorney felt this was a concern.
The EJF notes that according to the 2018 state ballot information booklet and recommendations on retention of judges, Lobato's open caseload is greater than the established goals of completing 80% of all cases within six months. Judge Lobato offered reasonable explanations for his backlog, but agreed that he is not unmindful that this situation needs improvement.Abel believes Judge Lobato's main concern was not for Abel's fair trial, but for the backlog of cases at Abel's expense.
Jezebel resorted to playing the helpless victim role and bashed Abel for twenty years of marriage in which she claimed he physically and emotionally abused her. This tactic is common in domestic violence proceedings. Although in some cases this may be true, common sense dictates that there surely should be something, anything more than an alleged victim's word to substantiate such a claim. As is true in Abel's case, however, simply making the accusation was sufficient. That deflected blame to Abel from her! A necessary step because she was having an affair and decided to drive drunk that night. Clearly, everything had to be his fault as she claimed he had abused her for so long.
Although Abel had never been in trouble before and the police had never been to the couple's house in the past for any allegation of domestic violence, still, after a day-and-a-half trial to a jury that included Jezebel's cousin, Abel was found guilty.
Had the charge been simply harassment without the add-on of domestic violence, the consequences for Abel would have been far less severe. Instead, and under these very bizarre circumstances, Abel is prohibited from owning a weapon or ammunition. Abel also had to feed the “justice” machine. He estimates that just his ankle monitor rental was ~$2,000. Of course he also has to pay for his probation officer and for the domestic violence classes he was ordered to undergo for approximately four months. In addition Abel was ordered to pay restitution of $2,000. Nor, as noted, was his attorney free.
It's also important to note that only an accusation of having an alcohol-related problem was necessary to cause the court to require Abel be evaluated by Health Solutions. Judge Lobato's actual response to Jezebel's bare accusation was “I'm not entirely convinced you don't have an alcohol problem.” Abel endured an evaluation that found he did not have any problems with alcohol.
The sad outcome
In the end, Jezebel walked away from the situation smelling like a rose. After twenty years of allegedly being abused, she suffered no repercussion from driving under the influence on the night in question, no responsibility for her infidelities, and no responsibility for any of her actions whatsoever.
Jezebel successfully played the “victim” game.
As a result, during the ensuing divorce she walked away with alimony, half of Abel's retirement, and will be remembered by many as a brave victim who finally had the courage to stand up and fight back.
While Abel's story is tragic, it is all too common. The sad state of the judicial system and the relatively easy circumstances under which a man is subject to lose everything behind groundless accusations is so intertwined into our society as to be unresolvable at present.
What Abel's unfortunate situation teaches us is:
• First, that a man accused of domestic violence is automatically guilty unless and until he can convince a jury otherwise;
• Second, Abel was unwise to talk to police and only now does he understand that. The unfortunate truth of the matter is that an individual's right to remain silent has a long and distinguished history and this right is one that should never be waived when dealing with the police or the district attorney;
• Third, any man in today's society would be a fool to believe this could never happen to him;
• Fourth, Abel also found out the hard way that guilt and innocence in this country's judicial system only rarely has any bearing in a criminal case.
A well-known fiction writer, who just happens to be an attorney himself, noted eight reasons for this kind is miscarriage of justice: (1) Poor police work; (2) prosecutorial misconduct; (3) ineffective defense counsel; (4) false confessions; (5) eyewitness error and; (6) sleeping or lazy judges. Abel believes all these factors were present in his case.
Today, “family” laws are designed to deprive men of their constitutional rights, take their children, take their homes, seize their property, and deny them life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.
But Abel is fortunate in many respects compared to other men suffering from such grave injustice. He has managed to keep his job, though not without problems. Also, after her license was taken during the DUI case, Jezebel obtained a state ID card that listed her parent's home as her address, he was also able to keep his home, although there was little equity in it. He did give her a car, but she took half his retirement savings and he had to buy her out of his pensions.
Abel, like most men, believes that domestic violence is unacceptable. However, the grave miscarriage of justice that plagues this society under the guise of “domestic violence” is equally unacceptable. As with everything else, Abel believes that changes will only occur if the issue can be recognized, addressed head-on, and citizens continue to stand up for their rights.
What Abel would like is to have the justice system correct the egregious miscarriage of justice, nullify his conviction, expunge his criminal record and give him his rights back. Abel knows, however, that this is currently impossible. In the alternative, he wants his story told; perhaps so that other poor fools do not fall victim to “justice” at the hands of radical feminists who manipulate troubled women into acts like these.
Mental health issues
Abel learned the hard way that any number of extraneous factors can and will make a wife of twenty years completely go down this very dark road with the snap of a finger.
As the EJF has long experience with cases like this one involving mental health issues, Abel was asked to address such problems in his marriage. As noted, Jezebel has a drinking problem. Given her age, it is also very likely she suffers from perimenopause. Abel also suggests she suffers from narcissism, which is quite common in cases like this.
But Abel's marriage was not the only casualty of this Jezebel. Fortunately, there were no minor children involved. But Mary, the wife of Abel's brother Cain, learned what was going on and sought a divorce that she hoped would be amicable; to her misfortune. Devoid of sympathy, loyalty, and integrity, Cain filed an ex parte restraining order against Mary and had her kicked out of their home, leaving her homeless for a time. After that Jezebel moved in with Cain within a couple of weeks.
| EJF Home | More newsletters | Get EJF newsletter | Find Help | Join the EJF | Comments? |
Issues The Equal Justice Foundation Deals With
| Civilization | Families and Marriage | Global Domestic Violence | Domestic Violence Against Men in Colorado | Emerson story |
| Courts, Veteran Courts, & Civil Liberties | Prohibition & War On Drugs | Vote Fraud & Election Issues |